Show Notes: The Six Million Dollar Man (what in the hell have I started)
Show Notes: The Six Million Dollar Man (what in the hell have I started)
Dialing back forty years to sitting in front of the console television for after school reruns, does all of the nostalgia candy of our past still taste as sweet?
I could give you a seven million reasons why I’ve decided to go back and rewatch the 6 Million Dollar Man, but if I boil it all down to a single, definable excuse that really tickles the edges of all of those reasons … it’s nostalgia candy. I was really looking for that warm cuddly feeling I got after walking to my grandparents house after school in 1983 and watching reruns on their monstrous 25” tv console wrapped in dark wood with fancy carvings on the edges. It could be The Fall Guy, 6 Million Dollar Man, or one of the many VCR tapes my grandfather kept of James Bond movies that he taped when they aired on television. I was hooked on action, espionage, and a double shot of Lee Majors and Roger Moore.
So, here we are now forty years later looking to scratch an itch from the days of yore and see if any of those classics still hold up. By no means will this be some sort of critical analysis because who would want to read that anyway? However, some context is needed. This television show aired in 1976 … let me say that again … 1976 when there were four major stations available for regular broadcast in most areas of America. At 8PM on a Sunday night you could watch Columbo, The Sonny and Cher Show, or The Six Million Dollar Man. That’s it. So when I say options were limited. I mean, VERY limited. I’m not walking into this with high expectations based on modern storytelling standards. I’m looking for that sweet hit of nostalgia that melts in your mouth.
Series: The Six Million Dollar Man
Logline: After a severely injured test pilot is rebuilt with nuclear-powered bionic limbs and implants, he serves as an intelligence agent.
Season 1 Episode 1: The Moon and the Desert Part 1
… and here’s a trailer to refresh your collective memories:
So, to start, if you watch that trailer, you watched all the good parts of episode one. I mean, OH. MY. GOD. There is absolutely no way in hell this would be accepted even at a rundown film festival in the middle of nowhere that’s desperate for content. Wow. I hope this gets better quickly. But, here’s the raw notes -
Opening sequence is pretty cool (oh if I only knew). You can really get a since of the time period for sci-fi. Lots of shots of wires in arms, bleeping screens with green dots dancing on 10” monitors, and some super serious scientist staring at the screens very intently. Like holy cow, this is a lot of staring with an ominous background track.
I love watching these old shows and movies for odd editing or mistakes. You can clearly see where they take a shot and loop it in reverse like a TikTok bounce video to elongate a moment. I guess reception and image quality was just so poor, you could get away with nearly anything.
I gotta say, if I was Lee Majors and they handed me that Burgundy jumpsuit to walk on for my opening scene … I’d of said yes to the role as well. He’s built like a linebacker but has this real Elvis vibe going. It’s probably the jumpsuit.
So there’s no way this would fly today, as audiences just wouldn’t have the patience for this slow intro. At first I wasn’t certain if it was pre or post bionic transition since they showed it in the opening credits, but this is clearly going to be an origin story. However, fifteen minutes in, I’m not sure why I’m watching a whole bunch of airplanes take off in complete silence, or why Ralphie’s dad from The Christmas Story is so angry as he carries his briefcase.
The tension building up to the accident was actually pretty well done. However, since the majority of the dialogue has been sparse voiceover, followed by ominous music with long shots of grown white men staring nervously directly down the barrel, you can see how one might become a little anxious.
By the end we made it to the operating table and Col. Steve Austin is continuing on his hero’s journey, reluctantly accepting his nuclear powered bionic parts. Yes, nuclear powered. That must have sounded really impressive in 1976, because now I think everyone would probably freak out at the idea of dude walking around with multiple nuclear reactors inside of his body powering his mechanical limbs.
On to episode two: The Moon and The Desert Part Two … God help me.
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